ah............ thank you dearie ........... now just let me take a sip of tea ......... mmmmmm ........ feeling better already ............. now then ........... where was I.......
Sky-clad-a-phobics. Especially those who don't know where to look once they finally get there. (the right answer is "within".) Oh - and right in the eyes, which is generally further up than their range of vision allows. You can always look your High Priest right in the Antlers and tell him what a nice rack he has on. Is it a little warm in here, or is it just me? And the sisterhood of Women, who have no trouble getting naked in the change room of the local fitness facility, simply cannot imagine settling in for some serious magickal work with their sisters dressed as the Goddess made them. We all have essentially the same parts, just at slightly different elevations, and we all have our well earned scars, lumps, bumps and saggy bits. We are all naked under our clothes. Keep that in mind when you have to do a presentation somewhere to a room full of hostile college students. It may help.
Indiscriminate Circling with Cowans of all paths, assuming they even have an identified path. Or a path that they have been on for more than "that" long. (would you mind snapping your fingers for me, dearie? I'm not up to two snaps in one chat). Or a path that they have explored with Pith Helmet and machete in hand, like Stanley through the Congo. Deep deep into the heart of the Mystery. No, I can't tell you what the Mystery is - or what the solution to the Mystery is. We are not playing Clue -and if you persist, the answer will be Cranky Crone in the Parlour with the lead pipe. Pass the cookies, dearie. I need to build up my strength in case I need to suddenly exert myself.
Myriad magickal names that change with the seasons, but not because of them. Or for any good reason that I can determine. I received a wonderful letter recently from some sweet little Witchlet, a "smart as a whip" young WitchiePoo, on magickal names. Must dig that out and maybe steal a few paragraphs. She's a credit to her Upline, that one. One of my best.
Tradition Hoppers. This week they are Eclectic Dianics Druids. Last week they were Shamanistic Gardenarians. Last year, they were Asatruistic Alexandrians. Now they are thumbing through the Craft Traditions Directory on the Witches Voice (such nice people, that dear Wren and Fritzie) looking for a new tradition to join. I can almost hear them buying a vowel, and seeing Vanna WhiteWitch turn the letters - "This pagan brought to you by the Tradition of the Month - Correllian Seax-Wiccan Voodo - one of the many flavours of Popular Paganism - where the rules are optional, and initiations are instantaneous. Over to you, Pat - its time for the bonus round, where our lucky dedicant can win a New Broom! (cue applause sign)"
Smudgers with sweetgrass, sage or tobacco. These are not Wiccan spiritual practices. They look nice. Very symbolic. They smell nice. Very fragrant. We must stop appropriating American indigenous practices into our Craft. There's an ocean of difference between Eurpean - centered Paganism, and North American Native traditions. And we do not follow the indigenous religion of Europe. What twaddle. Twaddle, I say. Say it with me now - TWADDLE TWADDLE TWADDLE. Enunciate your T's, my dearie - and please mind your p's and q's as well. I think I need another cookie.
Unconsecrated Tools waved about with wild abandon at Open Circles in Public Parks, in the presence of Mundanes. Would you use your best best china and silverware to entertain the vaccuum cleaner salesman when he comes to call? Riddle me this: How many people of various if any professed pagan faiths and variable Craft skillsets, including limited ability to ground and less ability to be reverent when gathered en masse does it take to deconsecrate a chalice in a public circle? Trick question - was the chalice AND its contents ever properly consecrated by an initiated Wiccan HPs in the first place? Answer - and you wonder why I'm cranky.
Ronco Add-water-and-stir Instant Cones of Power. Premature Energetic Ejaculation. I may be old, dearie, but I do have vague and distant memories of the comparison of which I speak. Been out of Sage, remember? And then, after raising all that energy for the entire 30 seconds it took to lift that cone up up up up and out - to be so tired, so weary, and/or so badly in need of grounding all that extra energy that is still stored up within you. If one of these circles tried to stop Hitler from crossing the Channel back in the day - I shudder to think of how that might have turned out. Say, can you see the last bevy of circlemates that you were with be of one focused intention long enough to get naked, rub themselves with lard, and run around a blazing fire on the beach in late winter chanting at the top of their lungs for hours and hours to stop the invading army from crossing over the water? Its not a pretty sight. Its also pretty near impossible to imagine, isn't it. Brings a tear to the eye. Yes please, you can close the smelling salts.
The Dragons, Archangels, and Teddy Bears of the Four Directions. Stay if you must, go if you can, don't let the Covenstead door hit you on the fanny on the way out. You Four - from the Chocolate Ritual, - Swiss Miss, Ethel M, Godiva, and My Lord Hershey, you can stay. As for the rest of you, and your kind - I summon, stir, and call up a banishing spell, just for you. This is not Wicca by Disney, Pixar or Lucas Film. Or Peter Jackson, though I do like his movies, and admire his fashion sense. May the Gregori be with you. Always. Luke, I am your Watchtower.
Celebate witches rather than Celebrants of the Deeper Mysteries! We're a religion of energetic polarity - go out and balance your energy. Feel the power of connection. Pray that it lasts more than 30 seconds. Consecrate your Temple, your Grove, your land, your home, your hearth with Sacred Sex - find your bliss, practice your passion, all acts of love and pleasure are Her Rituals - sing, feast, dance, make music and love ... with harm to none (unless they ask, and are willing particpants in your reindeer games.) And if you don't have a special someone or two (or more, if you are poly) in your world at the moment - practice the Great Rite with yourself. Its all sacred sex, if you want it to be. Its still beautiful and magickal and powerful and all that that other good stuff, if you are doing it with spiritual intent. Try not to annoy your neighbors. And don't tell me about it. Hush. I'm not listening. oh. My. GOODNESS! you don't say. You just said it. Well, good for you, dearie.
Newspaper Interviews! Radio talk shows! Public education. Outreach. Evangelism. Goddess Gospel music. Public Pentacle Wearing! Where will it end? Pass my smelling salts please - I've gotten a bit lightheaded. My ancestors didn't die by rope and fire and water and torture and all that in the Great Eternal Witch Hunt of Western Europe so Hps Lunalava SilverHawk could wear a copper satellite dish on her head and invoke the Great God Sammy Haines at the local Hallowe'en Cotillion, Bake Sale and Turkey Shoot, sponsored by Fruit of the Loom. Oh my. So very Sorry. The ancestors...witch-hunt part was supposed to go into my list of naughties .... I'm so upset that my fingers aren't even typing straight.
Now, don't get me wrong - in and of themselves, any one or two of these things isn't bad (well, maybe some of them are...) - but put some - most - all - of them all together and you have a Wicca that is homogenized, pasteurized, plain vanilla, watered down, ecuemenical, sterile, and bland. I forgot magickally impotent. Cheeze Whiz is not cheese. A finely aged room tempterature Stilton, served with a nice Port - now THAT's a cheese. What is being served up as Wicca Whiz these days is not Wicca as I know it - or practice it. I'm all for the evolution of spiritual thought and magickal practice. But you have to draw the line somewhere. Hand me my Athame. You look so afraid. Silly rabbit. No need to fear. No dear, that's a Bolline sticking out of the big piece of Stilton. The black handled one - yes. Double edged blade, like all the Goddess's gifts. Thank you. Now - let's draw that line.
wicca whiz _______________________________________________________ Wicca: the Craft of the Wyrd and Wise (codified by G.B. Gardner , liturgized by Doreen Valiente and likely no more than 107 or so years old, if we start with Leland's ARADIA as a baseline document.)
There we go. Now I feel better. As my dear dear friend Lady Moonbeam Pixiefart says, and I quote, "what happens in this blog is not of the world, but it will change the world." Well, I don't know so much about that - but it will certainly change me. My blood pressure may go down a knotch or two, and I may save a few pennies on smelling salts. It may change you. No promises - but at least you seem to enjoy our time together. Its so nice to spend time with such a good listener. More tea? no? me either, thank you for offering to pour.
I must find that letter on magickal names. It made me a little less Cranky - but don't get your hopes up. Cranky I was, Cranky I am, and given the state of the InstaWicca culture in Witch we live, Cranky I will be for some time to come. Put the teatray in the pantry, my dearie, the brownies will drink the milk and tease the pixies who will try to steal the sugar. Its time to say goodnight.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment